These are the words said to the virgin Mary by Gabriel the archangel when he told her she would be made pregnant by the Holy Spirit. To ninety year old Sarah, when told she would bear a child, it was asked, “Is anything too hard for YHWH?” So few today believe for the impossible. So few, that Yahshua despaired of finding faith on the earth when He returns (LUKE 18:8). Is faith like what I wrote about love? That we don’t really know what it is?
Sometimes Father puts us in a place where there is nothing we can do but depend on Him. Where, as we wait in faith, it seems like YHWH is the enemy. Sometimes we have to put everything on the line, even our lives or the lives of our children. As Job stated, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him” (13:15). Sometimes we have to ask the Father, who is squeezing us so tightly, to please hold us tighter still. Sometimes when it’s taking every ounce of courage and humility to submit to the fire, we have to reach down deep and find yet more.
It is said He wants us broken vessels. But I can’t find that in the Bible. Strengthened and perfected I can find. David had a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart in PSALM 51. This was conviction for his sin with Bathsheba. Broken sometimes sounds to me like having given up. The only thing we should give up on is trying to do it in our own strength. There should be a lot more conviction for sins after a thorough search to ascertain why we are put on trial.
It will help when in the crucible of suffering to look at the heroes of faith: Sarah who waited ninety years for a child and had given up: DON’T GIVE UP! A millenia and a half of conflict between Arabs and Jews was the ultimate result of that. Joseph in slavery and prison for twelve years. An antidote for his pride perhaps? Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego prepared to die in a furnace for what they believed. A test of their fidelity after having been in apostate Judah? Daniel was thrown to the lions. Some did die. It is believed Isayah the prophet was the hero of HEBREWS 11:37 sawn asunder. Yahshua Himself died. The apostles, one by one, but for John the beloved, all martyred. They had all run away when Yahshua was taken prisoner by the mob. Should we expect to be less honoured?
If we look the other way we see the results of those who doubted the Most High. Adam and Eve doubted His word, His one command to them. Result? The fall. Untold suffering by us, his children, for six millenia. Jacob and his mother, Rebecca, doubted he would receive the inheritance. Result? He was forced to run in fear from his brother, then work for another seven years for Rachel when his lie came back on him. The Israelites in the wilderness doubted YHWH. They got to wander in the wilderness another forty years, until they, the adults, were all dead.
On comparison the results of doubting are worse than the mustard seed of faith. Both can last generations or forever. James tells us he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed, and will receive nothing from YHWH (1:6-7). Pretty strong word: NOTHING.
The trial I am currently experiencing is about childbirth. Therefore I will teach some little known facts about the experience of giving birth and being born. Adam and Eve, by their doubt leading to disobedience, cursed themselves. Eve was cursed to bring forth children in sorrow. I cannot see why that meant any other women than herself, but it is taken to mean all women in childbirth. We get what we believe, even if it’s a lie.
Coming down some generations to the Israelites in Egypt, we find not only didn’t these Hebrew women have doctors, as women generally do today, they didn’t even need a midwife. Their births were quick and free of complications. Whether painful, it is not mentioned. Nowhere in the Bible is there a problem with birth apart from when Rachel died giving birth to Benjamin, and Phineas’ wife died giving birth to little Ichabod. In both instances there was sin involved: Rachel had stolen her father’s idols, and Phineas with his brother Hophni had profaned the Tabernacle. Almost all other births are considered great blessings. These Israelite wives gave birth so quickly, only their husbands, I assume, were on hand to catch their babies.
As a result of His stripes, or whipping, Yahshua took our griefs and sorrows (the very word used for Eve’s curse in childbirth) and healed us. To my understanding and that of others, we are completely healed by this, and prevented from getting sick. That is an element of faith. And without faith it is impossible to please YHWH: for he that cometh to YHWH must believe that He is (the healer of their sicknesses), and He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. So saith the writer who lists those heroes of faith in HEBREWS 11. This healing and prevention includes the sorrows of childbirth. Redeemed, pain-free, and uncomplicated childbirth has been available since the Israelites were in Egypt, and it is receiving a resurgence in recent times.
My experience with redeemed childbirth started with Gabriel’s birth, though I knew about it at the time of Jed’s birth. Gabriel’s birth took place in a hospital and was not pain-free. The pain was as a result of calling Father cruel, like Job also did, while Jed was being born. Father was not cruel at all. My sins against Philip were what were cruel. So I was tested with pain for Gabriel’s birth. I didn’t again call Father cruel. What I did receive was such an amazing birth I wanted to go back THE NEXT DAY AND HAVE TWINS!
For the next sixteen years I prayed for these twins and more babies. I saw them in the trance dream in which I went to Heaven. (See post: Sell All You Have and Follow me.) I named them, as Father pointed out in the dream. For sixteen years Father withheld them from me. I know Satan stole some of them. He has been commanded to give back seven times as many according to Scripture–the amount the thief must repay. During that time I divorced Philip and married Anthony. Our marriage was partly based on a sign, given by Father, that we would have children together. The sign had to do with blood group compatibility. Aside from that we both desired more children when we married. We were both 46. But so what? All things are possible with YHWH.
Five years later, and you know if you read my post And the Two Shall Become One Flesh, what happened. We separated. After five years of disappointments, I had finally given the matter of conceiving into Father’s hands, because it had never worked when I tried to make it happen.
During this time I cleaned out my pipeline. Unconfessed sin clogs up our spiritual pipeline through which YHWH pours down His blessings upon us from Heaven. I didn’t even know I had unconfessed sin until I was in the crucible of suffering. Father turns up the heat so we are forced to deal with issues we refuse to see when the path is smooth and carefree. This is when I discovered my fears had stolen my sons from their father, Philip, and stolen my sons’ father from them. I also found out I had been deceived about marrying Anthony. There were many other sins, many fears.
I cried, begged, pleaded, and prayed. I gave everything to Father. He was faithful, as stated in His Word, and delivered me from all my fears (PSA. 34:4).
One day recently I asked Him for a little hint about the situation. A few minutes later I received a fright to find a spider on my shoulder. I screamed, throwing it off. As I chased the spider across the floor, Father asked me, “Do you trust Me, Debra?”
I had to admit I didn’t. I trust Him to a point, but my faith is not perfect. And I so want perfect faith. It appears that this trial is about perfecting my faith. A faith that does not care so much if I live or die, or if my children live or die, but that we are in the hands of the One Who Is perfect love, and that He works all things together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose (ROM. 8:28).